{"id":104438,"date":"2024-07-04T16:30:04","date_gmt":"2024-07-04T14:30:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kosovotwopointzero.com\/burre-je-pa-dhune\/"},"modified":"2024-07-22T16:21:21","modified_gmt":"2024-07-22T14:21:21","slug":"violence-doesnt-make-you-a-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.kosovotwopointzero.com\/en\/violence-doesnt-make-you-a-man\/","title":{"rendered":"Violence doesn&#8217;t make you a man"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"104438\" class=\"elementor elementor-104438 elementor-103241\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-d94e51e elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"d94e51e\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div 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1920px) 100vw, 1920px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-7652469 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"7652469\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-background-overlay\"><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-dd7674f\" data-id=\"dd7674f\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-92c2de7 elementor-align-center elementor-mobile-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-button\" data-id=\"92c2de7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"button.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-button-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-button elementor-button-link elementor-size-xs\" href=\"https:\/\/kosovotwopointzero.com\/en\/tag\/hovi-yne-rinor-en-2\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-content-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-text\">DARING YOUTH<\/span>\n\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-6d89053 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"6d89053\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-9b05912\" data-id=\"9b05912\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4133716 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"4133716\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Violence doesn't make you a man\n<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-025a35b elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"025a35b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Clinging to toxic masculinity perpetuates violence.\n<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a8c5dfd elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"a8c5dfd\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-be63c62 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"be63c62\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><a href=\"https:\/\/kosovotwopointzero.com\/en\/author\/visarkukaqi\/\" style=\"border-bottom: 1.3px solid yellow;\" target=\"_blank\">By Visar Kukaqi <\/a>  |  July 6, 2024<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b881c95 elementor-shape-square elementor-grid-0 e-grid-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-social-icons\" data-id=\"b881c95\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"social-icons.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-social-icons-wrapper elementor-grid\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-grid-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-icon elementor-social-icon elementor-social-icon-facebook elementor-repeater-item-5e387e1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Kosovo2.0\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-screen-only\">Facebook<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"fab fa-facebook\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-grid-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-icon elementor-social-icon elementor-social-icon-twitter elementor-repeater-item-7ae3a81\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/kosovo2point0\" target=\"_blank\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-screen-only\">Twitter<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"fab fa-twitter\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-grid-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-icon elementor-social-icon elementor-social-icon-instagram elementor-repeater-item-8daffd8\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/kosovo2point0\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-screen-only\">Instagram<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"fab fa-instagram\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-aebedd5 elementor-widget-divider--view-line_text elementor-widget-divider--element-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"aebedd5\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-b06875d elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"b06875d\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-5fb39f6\" data-id=\"5fb39f6\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6220491 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"6220491\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In Kosovo, the new generation of men are still raised with a mindset of violent and toxic masculinity. Masculinity is still closely linked to violence, control and hiding emotions. If a man doesn\u2019t display these traits, society condemns him for not being \u201cman enough.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We often see examples of this in popular media. In TV shows, movies, songs and other formats, it\u2019s common to hear expressions like \u201cYou\u2019re not a man if you change your mind,\u201d \u201c\u2018you\u2019re not a man if you cry\u201d and \u201c\u2018if you\u2019re a man, you&#8217;ll accept it.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Men are still expected to be tough, never back down, change their minds, or cry. Many Kosovar men live with the idea that they must prove their masculinity, sometimes violently.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Despite various campaigns to challenge narrow notions of masculinity, there has been no radical change in Kosovo. As a young Kosovar man, I find it troubling that men judge and mock those who don\u2019t conform to the traditional alpha male stereotype. When a man doesn\u2019t behave in ways perceived as masculine by society or shows emotions, he is labeled with terms such as &#8220;gay,&#8221; &#8220;weak&#8221; or &#8220;woman.&#8221; These labels are intended as insults and reflect the derogatory attitudes towards LGBTQ+ people and women.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I have experienced these prejudices and stereotypes. As a child, if I cried because I was sad, my family mocked and criticized me. They told me that only girls cry and that I should learn to suppress my emotions.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">During adolescence, I faced pressure from my peers to only view girls in a sexual context, not as friends. I was also expected to be tough and show my manliness, rather than being soft and tolerant.<\/span><\/p><p><b>Why is this problematic?<\/b><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Toxic masculinity still creates generations of closed-minded men and perpetuates violence against others, especially women.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The current mindset of both young and old men holds them hostage and stops them from living freely. It\u2019s crucial to understand that being a man isn\u2019t defined by being arrogant or violent. You are still a man when you don&#8217;t harass women and when you support feminism and LGBTQ+ rights.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I began challenging this mentality by doing things such as growing long hair and getting an eyebrow piercing. I did these things while living outside of Kosovo. Through such actions, I began to feel confident with myself and defy the prejudices of the men around me. I started to understand that being a man is about embracing how I feel, not conforming to society\u2019s expectations.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the main causes of femicide is men&#8217;s insecurity about themselves and their masculinity. It seems that for Kosovar men, the ego rooted in toxic masculinity makes it difficult to accept that a marriage or relationship isn\u2019t working. In these situations, divorce is seen as unacceptable because of societal prejudice toward a man who failed to exercise control over &#8220;his woman.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019ve seen the same mentality among younger boys, who believe that they shouldn\u2019t give up on a relationship, fearing that they won\u2019t be considered manly enough if they &#8220;allow a woman to leave.&#8221;<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In their pursuit of society\u2019s approval, men not only resort to violence, but also reduce the quality of their own lives. A case from January 2024, when an 18-year-old <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/kosovotwopointzero.com\/en\/violence-is-not-a-media-spectacle\/\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">died<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> due to brutal violence inflicted by two of his peers, highlights how a society that promotes toxic masculinity leads to more generations of aggressive men.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Suppressing emotions also has psychological consequences and creates unattainable expectations for men, which in turn exacerbates the pressure on them. Men are expected to financially support the family and never complain about the challenges they experience. This has affected me personally \u2014 I&#8217;ve experienced stress and low self-esteem because I&#8217;ve felt inadequate for having goals that differ from what&#8217;s expected of me. With the help of a psychologist, I realized that I was caught in a clash between my individual personality and the persona shaped by culture and society. Whenever I failed to live up to the persona that society expected, it made me feel like a failure, question my masculinity and feel guilty.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We need to focus on educating the younger generations and raise boys that challenge the root of this harmful masculinity. Increasing the number of school psychologists is essential for breaking the stigma around seeking support. Seeking guidance from therapists and psychologists helps us to identify our traumas, develop coping mechanisms, improve communication and emotional expression.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Men who are trying to find a healthier path for themselves and society should not feel guilty or like they are doing something wrong. Those who equate masculinity with violence must change, and in this change, we must all unite.<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><b>Feature image:<\/b><b><span style=\"letter-spacing: -0.1px;\"> Arrita Katona \/ K2.0.<\/span><\/b><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-40d4698 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"40d4698\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-e59bffc\" data-id=\"e59bffc\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1072876 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