{"id":104386,"date":"2024-07-04T16:51:40","date_gmt":"2024-07-04T14:51:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kosovotwopointzero.com\/nje-familje-e-duhur-kosovare\/"},"modified":"2024-07-22T16:21:14","modified_gmt":"2024-07-22T14:21:14","slug":"a-good-kosovar-family","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.kosovotwopointzero.com\/en\/a-good-kosovar-family\/","title":{"rendered":"A good Kosovar family"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"104386\" class=\"elementor elementor-104386 elementor-103309\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-d94e51e elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"d94e51e\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div 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lang=\"sr\">B\/C\/S<\/span><\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\n\t\t<\/li>\n\n\t<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-15399ad elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"15399ad\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-294218d\" data-id=\"294218d\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f708219 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"f708219\" data-element_type=\"widget\" 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\/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-7652469 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"7652469\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-background-overlay\"><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-no\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-dd7674f\" data-id=\"dd7674f\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-92c2de7 elementor-align-center elementor-mobile-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-button\" data-id=\"92c2de7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"button.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-button-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-button elementor-button-link elementor-size-xs\" href=\"https:\/\/kosovotwopointzero.com\/en\/tag\/hovi-yne-rinor-en-2\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-content-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-text\">DARING YOUTH<\/span>\n\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-6d89053 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"6d89053\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-9b05912\" data-id=\"9b05912\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4133716 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"4133716\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">A good Kosovar family\n<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-025a35b elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"025a35b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Parents risk prioritizing family image over their child\u2019s happiness.\n<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a8c5dfd elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"a8c5dfd\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-be63c62 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"be63c62\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\"><a href=\"https:\/\/kosovotwopointzero.com\/en\/author\/beltinesyla\/\" style=\"border-bottom: 1.3px solid yellow;\" target=\"_blank\">By Beltina Syla <\/a>  | July 6, 2024\n<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b881c95 elementor-shape-square elementor-grid-0 e-grid-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-social-icons\" data-id=\"b881c95\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"social-icons.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-social-icons-wrapper elementor-grid\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-grid-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-icon elementor-social-icon elementor-social-icon-facebook elementor-repeater-item-5e387e1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Kosovo2.0\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-screen-only\">Facebook<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"fab fa-facebook\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-grid-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-icon elementor-social-icon elementor-social-icon-twitter elementor-repeater-item-7ae3a81\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/kosovo2point0\" target=\"_blank\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-screen-only\">Twitter<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"fab fa-twitter\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-grid-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-icon elementor-social-icon elementor-social-icon-instagram elementor-repeater-item-8daffd8\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/kosovo2point0\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-screen-only\">Instagram<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"fab fa-instagram\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-aebedd5 elementor-widget-divider--view-line_text elementor-widget-divider--element-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"aebedd5\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-b06875d elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"b06875d\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-5fb39f6\" data-id=\"5fb39f6\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6220491 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"6220491\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In a good Kosovar family, it is important to maintain a good public image of the whole family. Such an image features the family&#8217;s morality and the parents\u2019 success in raising their kids to be well-behaved, loving and in jobs that their family and community will approve of.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There&#8217;s nothing inherently wrong with this. Your family wants a better life for you and supports you. But just how important are children for maintaining the image that parents want their social circle to see?<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-866e8ad elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"866e8ad\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">But just how important are children for maintaining the image that parents want their social circle to see?<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-29fea10 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"29fea10\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In such an environment, whether it is created consciously or unconsciously, parents place their kids under a lot of pressure and high expectations. Meanwhile, their children\u2019s actual abilities and talents may not ever have the chance to shine.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Usually, parents feel like they should take control over their children&#8217;s lives, deciding for them even when it&#8217;s not needed. This may start with hobbies, interests and passions. When kids aren\u2019t given options to choose, they won\u2019t know where their actual abilities lie because they never knew the capacities of their own talents and weren\u2019t able to follow what comes naturally to them.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Kids have tried to speak up in such situations, but in most cases, they were shut down immediately. They were told not to talk because their opinion didn\u2019t matter or that they were too young to know what was best for them. When their opinions are not considered, their confidence will lower. At some point, they will stop trying to speak up because the outcome will be the same no matter the situation. Suppressing their emotions and doing what their parents order them to do becomes the new normal.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Later on, parents feeling entitled to making every decision about their child&#8217;s path without considering the child\u2019s thoughts or giving them the option of choice leads to the kid not being able to grow as a person. It will be difficult for them to have their own opinions and develop critical thinking skills.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In some ways, it may seem that parents are being considerate and only want the best for their children&#8217;s future. However, being demanding, controlling and not putting their child\u2019s needs and passions first will only damage the kid&#8217;s mental health. This can grow into bigger problems when children become adults and are on their own.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The pattern will continue into the children\u2019s adult lives if it&#8217;s not broken. It will affect decisions that are a big part of their personal life and career, two very big factors that impact their mental health and happiness in the long run.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The controlling usually comes so that their children don\u2019t go off on so-called bad paths and become bad examples to the parents\u2019 social circle, ruining the parents\u2019 reputation and reflecting negatively on their parenting. This leaves the children in those families with the impossible choice of prioritizing either their own happiness or their family&#8217;s approval.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3fbe889 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"3fbe889\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">This leaves the children in those families with the impossible choice of prioritizing either their own happiness or their family's approval.<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c0486d7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"c0486d7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These kids are left feeling judged by their own parents and the community around them, doubting themselves in every decision they make, having low confidence, comparing their work to other people&#8217;s achievement and needing to prove themselves even when it&#8217;s not needed. They let go of pursuing their own happiness to fulfill any expectation their parents have of them just for a chance of approval, even if it is always doubtful whether it will come or not.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The chance that children in such environments will choose happiness is not that high. Finding the courage to go against your family and fight for your own future and happiness while seeking parental approval is mentally draining. Even if you do go against their wishes, it won&#8217;t take long before they stop supporting you, because your happiness and mental state was rarely a factor in their decision-making. The biggest reason for this is the image they seek to uphold.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And all this pain has its roots. My parents were never supportive of my true abilities. Being a child with explosive emotions and not knowing how to deal with them led me to become a very creative individual. Any time I had the smallest chance to show myself through art, I would take it without thinking twice. Parts of me were growing while I was creating even if I didn&#8217;t know it at the time.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-871894e elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"871894e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Parts of me were growing while I was creating even if I didn't know it at the time.<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3f6c82e elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"3f6c82e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But my parents never saw being and flourishing as a creative child as an option; art was seen as a waste of time, as something that was never going to give me what I needed in life. Creating in the dark and trying not to lose my creativity when my parents couldn\u2019t see it was truly painful. I started seeing my art as a burden, something that I should have never pursued.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Growing up, there weren&#8217;t times when I could freely express my feelings through art, so slowly and unconsciously, I forgot the most important part of me.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I gave up on myself. I let everything go without knowing that my happiness and the way I dealt with emotions was gone too. Doing what my parents wanted and what was expected of me made me numb and gray and I still wasn\u2019t enough for them. How could I be?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-848675c elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"848675c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Doing what my parents wanted and what was expected of me made me numb and gray and I still wasn\u2019t enough for them. \n<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-345ea33 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"345ea33\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I wasn\u2019t enough, not when I was myself and not when I did everything they wanted me to. All of that made me spiral and my mental health suffered.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, what was I supposed to do now? Not following my passions, specifically art, meant that there was no more me. I was gone. And for what?<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Somehow, as much as I felt pain, I also began appreciating my creativity even more. As I started to create again, to write and express whatever I was feeling, I started to find my way back to me, as a whole.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I started by telling people that I write. I didn\u2019t tell many people at first, but those I did tell were interested. They asked me about what and why I write, but I kept that very concealed. I didn\u2019t say much until I promised one of my teachers that I would print out some of my poems. She read those and told me about the monthly open mic nights at the community center. There was one going to be held the upcoming Saturday.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I had never been to that community center, and I didn&#8217;t know anyone there except for the teacher who was going to accompany me. I was anxious, excited and very scared because I had made up my mind that I would go up on stage and share my poetry with an audience. I didn\u2019t know how anybody would take it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I read it and people listened. Meanwhile, I was shaking, not looking up or engaging with the audience. After the event was over, people came up to me and told me about which of my poems had stuck to them and why.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Before I left, I went up to the hosts, who had been very supportive and welcoming. One of them told me that he was proud of me. Hearing that for the first time after I shared my poems, which are an extension of me, immediately changed my self-perception and my perception of my art. I was fully myself and that was enough. I felt accepted in ways that I never had before. Hearing that opened so many pathways to finding me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As I started talking to friends and others about my experience, I found that my friends\u2019 parents also generally had such expectations. If the expectations weren&#8217;t met, parents may think that we didn&#8217;t love or respect them. But these are our lives and we can&#8217;t let our happiness depend on other people\u2019s approval.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-20db24a elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"20db24a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">But these are our lives and we can't let our happiness depend on other people\u2019s approval.<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-289c0e0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"289c0e0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I found that usually, people have breaking points in which the image they uphold starts to crack.\u00a0 That&#8217;s when they start having boundaries with their parents and know when to advocate for themselves and stand their ground.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Their perception of life and themselves started to change in those moments. As hard as all of that is, appreciating ourselves in all the different ways we engage with the world comes with growing up.<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><strong>Feature Image: Majlinda Hoxha \/ K2.0.<\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-efa0107 elementor-section-full_width elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"efa0107\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-674fbb7\" data-id=\"674fbb7\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b5d8507 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